Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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