Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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