talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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