foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
did i walk over a car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
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