Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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