Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize