I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
