If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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