this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
