I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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