At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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