I could have mohawked her pubes.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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