If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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