I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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