No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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