You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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