No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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