well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
