i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
