happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize