Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
