Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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