I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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