sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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