i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
