Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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