please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
