She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
