Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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