i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
