Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
