Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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