I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
