Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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