would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
