you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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