He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
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I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
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Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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