Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
