yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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