She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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