Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry antoniocatsss hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(805): View more from California

she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu

Fav 12 7681 1114
share tweet
(407): View more from Florida

Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober

Fav 19 1085 2867
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(310): View more from California

Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..

Fav 28 1516 6174
share tweet
(407): View more from Florida

Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."

Fav 35 17860 1328
share tweet
(651): View more from Minnesota

It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.

Fav 24 1422 4737
share tweet
(757): View more from Virginia

It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.

Fav 22 940 4854
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(618): View more from Illinois

remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back

Fav 34 5764 1299
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(207): View more from Maine

Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have

Fav 1 1071 580
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(910): View more from North Carolina

I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."

Fav 0 8 78
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT