I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
