Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
50% drunk capacity currently
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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