Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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