I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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