Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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