Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
