I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize