even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i've created a new STD.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
