Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
