Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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