so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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