I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
