my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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