Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
