if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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