im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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