Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.

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  (214): Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public. http://tfl.nu/c7j6
  Replies (3) Good night (537) Bad night (759)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more

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  (317): did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more http://tfl.nu/ndo9
  Replies (4) Good night (490) Bad night (838)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?

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  (806): pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour? http://tfl.nu/u15d
  Replies (22) Good night (2992) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Would you still love me if I had no teeth

  (1-909): View more from California

  Yeah why?

  (909): View more from California

  Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone

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  (909): Would you still love me if I had no teeth (1-909): Yeah why? (909): Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone http://tfl.nu/a6a1
  Replies (34) Good night (1402) Bad night (11709)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"

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  (401): You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk" http://tfl.nu/xogg
  Replies (13) Good night (6097) Bad night (965)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.

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  (281): We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex. http://tfl.nu/sntw
  Replies (14) Good night (1461) Bad night (3334)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?

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  (408): My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know? http://tfl.nu/68pr
  Replies (8) Good night (2465) Bad night (1125)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.

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  (908): I think I actually have rug burn on my eye. http://tfl.nu/mvqe
  Replies (5) Good night (916) Bad night (1731)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.

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  (770): You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine. (770): I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon. http://tfl.nu/cq2b
  Replies (0) Good night (1217) Bad night (422)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.

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  (541): They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay. http://tfl.nu/px2q
  Replies (6) Good night (1242) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.

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  (940): Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected. http://tfl.nu/ylps
  Replies (4) Good night (997) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.

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  (304): I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck. http://tfl.nu/h7qy
  Replies (3) Good night (818) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?

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  (616): Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape? http://tfl.nu/8v8b
  Replies (3) Good night (1249) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.

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  (630): And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then. http://tfl.nu/h2gd
  Replies (4) Good night (390) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm Batman.

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  (614): I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls. (614): I'm Batman. http://tfl.nu/j50i
  Replies (3) Good night (398) Bad night (373)

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