At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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