Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'

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(703): Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.' http://tfl.nu/veyw

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(402): View more from Nebraska

what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with

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(402): what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with http://tfl.nu/hfaq

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(214): View more from Texas

I got "discovered a new religion high" last night

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(214): I got "discovered a new religion high" last night http://tfl.nu/qcb6

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(205): View more from Alabama

Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.

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(205): Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent. http://tfl.nu/5qhy

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(970): View more from Colorado

Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"

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(970): Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet" http://tfl.nu/xuid

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(417): View more from Missouri

Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.

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(417): Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever. http://tfl.nu/md7w

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(217): View more from Illinois

she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...

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(217): she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening... http://tfl.nu/ap34

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(541): View more from Oregon

I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.

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(541): I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums. http://tfl.nu/gqon

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(903): View more from Texas

All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.

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(903): All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed. http://tfl.nu/pos0

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

what about money

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

no - he has a code he lives by

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(610): they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n (484): what about money (610): no - he has a code he lives by http://tfl.nu/tp7q

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum

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(781): My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum http://tfl.nu/wc4p

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(740): View more from Ohio

omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.

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(740): omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause. http://tfl.nu/xm5u

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(770): View more from Georgia

Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.

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(770): Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed. http://tfl.nu/nhyv

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night

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(501): Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night http://tfl.nu/fi5n

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(704): View more from North Carolina

She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words

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(704): She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words http://tfl.nu/kxrj

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