That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.