And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
