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Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
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