Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?

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(713): Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing? http://tfl.nu/g5e5

Replies (1) Good night (1174) Bad night (626)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings

(856): View more from New Jersey

youre going to kill that woman one of these days

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(609): i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings (856): youre going to kill that woman one of these days http://tfl.nu/m946

Replies (25) Good night (4297) Bad night (764)
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(309): View more from Illinois

So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend

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(309): So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend http://tfl.nu/9ksw

Replies (34) Good night (3866) Bad night (619)
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(716): View more from New York

Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?

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(716): Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed? http://tfl.nu/24fj

Replies (28) Good night (6569) Bad night (1461)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Some one left their pants in the elevator.

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(617): Some one left their pants in the elevator. http://tfl.nu/4aog

Replies (7) Good night (4331) Bad night (879)
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(630): View more from Illinois

don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.

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(630): don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class. http://tfl.nu/vso9

Replies (8) Good night (1518) Bad night (4003)
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(361): View more from Texas

Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.

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(361): Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am. http://tfl.nu/g88o

Replies (1) Good night (1243) Bad night (2300)
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(519): View more from Ontario

If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes

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(519): If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes http://tfl.nu/ayyp

Replies (29) Good night (4179) Bad night (1320)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom

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(605): the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom http://tfl.nu/jd2y

Replies (6) Good night (720) Bad night (2210)
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(330): View more from Ohio

shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.

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(330): shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon. http://tfl.nu/iapt

Replies (5) Good night (1377) Bad night (578)
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(905): View more from Ontario

And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.

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(905): And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high. http://tfl.nu/wkek

Replies (6) Good night (1135) Bad night (521)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.

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(937): I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it. http://tfl.nu/13iq

Replies (0) Good night (306) Bad night (391)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.

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(603): You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up. http://tfl.nu/2txy

Replies (0) Good night (306) Bad night (779)
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(714): View more from California

I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"

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(714): I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix" http://tfl.nu/tav0

Replies (0) Good night (321) Bad night (429)
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(206): View more from Washington

you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"

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(206): you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus" http://tfl.nu/hgga

Replies (1) Good night (664) Bad night (173)

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