sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
