Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?

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(717): so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong? http://tfl.nu/4brz

Replies (28) Good night (3748) Bad night (837)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling

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(774): What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling http://tfl.nu/ijkr

Replies (21) Good night (987) Bad night (6062)
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(404): View more from Georgia

i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".

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(404): i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ". http://tfl.nu/tf5y

Replies (388) Good night (41131) Bad night (4148)
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(940): View more from Texas

Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.

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(940): Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever. http://tfl.nu/989r

Replies (18) Good night (5731) Bad night (1738)
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(636): View more from Missouri

I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high

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(636): I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high http://tfl.nu/wyfj

Replies (16) Good night (4646) Bad night (2078)
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(727): View more from Florida

I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.

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(727): I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due. http://tfl.nu/nv78

Replies (26) Good night (7075) Bad night (1197)
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(310): View more from California

Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes

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(310): Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes http://tfl.nu/a2gi

Replies (4) Good night (1628) Bad night (984)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...

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(201): I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy... http://tfl.nu/nlco

Replies (5) Good night (2167) Bad night (933)
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(904): View more from Florida

I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded

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(904): I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded http://tfl.nu/240k

Replies (9) Good night (5397) Bad night (741)
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(716): View more from New York

Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink

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(716): Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink http://tfl.nu/hn0o

Replies (7) Good night (699) Bad night (514)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.

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(603): Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you. http://tfl.nu/ssin

Replies (4) Good night (1152) Bad night (504)
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(208): View more from Idaho

God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight

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(208): God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight http://tfl.nu/fm83

Replies (7) Good night (1157) Bad night (324)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?

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(717): "Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right? http://tfl.nu/p6ak

Replies (1) Good night (522) Bad night (198)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.

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(+44): There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room. http://tfl.nu/hg5g

Replies (1) Good night (637) Bad night (329)
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(518): View more from New York

I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush

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(518): I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush http://tfl.nu/jhnr

Replies (0) Good night (253) Bad night (368)

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