Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.