Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
