did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
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He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
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Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering