and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
